Any more rumoured shenanigans and his girlfriend would probably castrate him."Come here, darling, and let Lance show you what a real man is like!" He yanked her towards him and her muffled protest was smothered when he thrust his tongue down her throat. Her large breasts rubbed against his expensive silk shirt and he was soon groping them, squeezing the soft flesh in his large hands. After a few seconds, he pulled away and stared at her contemplatively. "That's a little unfair, darling," he frowned."What, Lance?" She suddenly looked frightened to death, her cheeks all pink and flushed and her lips swollen."Now you've given me a huge hard-on and I have to go back over and talk to these nice people."Louise's eyes were immediately drawn towards to the bulge in his expensive trousers. Not that huge, she thought dryly."I'm sorry, Lance," murmured Rebecca apologetically. "I didn't mean to..." Well - what are you going to do about it?" His voice was stern and Louise saw that Rebecca was. Critic had written about his stories. Didn't Mr. Critic realize that having fun was more important than any silly old rules? Fortunately, Tammy's friends agreed, and sent him notes like "Yoo rool, Tamee! Thet waz a grate storee!" That always cheered him right up again.But this couldn't go on forever, and one day Tammy Fey received a package in the mail, the snail mail, that is, with no return address.Inside was an old-fashioned brass oil lamp, with the alchemical symbols for Mars and Venus inscribed on its side. Knowing what this must be, Tammy rubbed the lamp with his best silk nightie.A cloud of pink smoke roiled forth from the spout of the lamp, quickly solidifying itself into the shape of an androgynous person in Persian robes."I am the gender-change genie," proclaimed the servant of the lamp. "Whosoever summons me may have two wishes." Only two?" asked Tammy. "All the stories say three!" Suck it in, kid. Life disappoints us all. So, what's it going to be?"Tammy needed very.
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